Greetings ‘Lost’ fans. We’re at a crossroads aren’t we? Only 8 episodes remain of our most favorite show. It’s so bittersweet, no? Whereas I will be happy to finally go back to sleeping regularly on Tuesdays, what on earth are we going to do at work on Wednesday mornings? Are we actually going to have to work? Seriously, someone out there should do a study on how productivity changes following the finale of ‘Lost’ on May 23. I bet it goes through the roof.
But I need to be honest with you my friends. I am not so sure how I feel about last night’s episode, ‘Recon.’ I found it to be a little too…predictable. You? I understand that there are many outside factors hindering my feelings: I am not really a fan of Sawyer/James/Jimmy/One too many names, I am not a fan of Kate/Chick who’s built like a 13 year-old boy, there was no Jack/The Hot Doc, and, once I saw the scenes from next week’s episode all about the man, the myth, the eyebrows-there was no way I was going to be able to focus on ‘Recon.’
Following ‘Recon,’ I jumped online and had a great chat with my old friend Trevor who seemed to share the same feelings minus the Kate part (boy are so driven by their hormones), so I doubt that I am alone here. And I am pretty certain, especially after checking with others at work this morning, that next week is the episode we have been waiting for.
But until then, let’s try to figure out who exactly Sawyer is trying to con this time…I have a feeling it’s probably us.
Con man’s got a bloodhound nose for flaws
Profits from both sides of the law
In Sideways World, we begin by seeing Sawyer running the same old con he’s always run: he’s in bed with a chick having grossy-gross when she suddenly reminds him that it’s 8:42 (shout out the numbers once again) and he has a meeting at 9:00.
Ooops, the suitcase in open and the money is everywhere. However, this chick is different. She’s a con-lady herself. She pulls a gun on him and Sawyer, naturally, tries to spin the con back on her by telling her the police have the place surrounded and they are trying to catch her husband.
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She doesn’t buy it, so he lays the magic word on her, ‘LaFleur’ (terrible name, simply terrible and yes, of course I remember that was his chosen name while in 1977) and cops bust open the door to the nicest motel room that opens directly to a parking lot that has ever been on television (thanks for noticing that Matt).
And thus we have the least predictable moment to last night’s ‘Lost.’ In Sideways World, Sawyer is a cop who apparently works for a precinct that has no issue with him humping chicks in order to get their ‘man.’ Oh, and Miles is his partner.
I have to admit, I kind of like that Miles is his partner. I enjoyed how Miles took to Sawyer when they were stuck in 1977 and how he continued to call him Boss even after the poo-poo hit the fan. However, we are not privy to knowing whether to not Miles possesses his supernatural gift in Sideways World which, for some inexplicable reason, I am totally dying to know.
Back at his desk, Sawyer is still diligently hunting Anthony Cooper. We already know that Cooper is Locke’s father and, from Locke’s Sideways World appearance, is still alive and may even have a semi-healthy relationship with his son. Yet there doesn’t seem to be any change in Sawyer’s need to find and kill Cooper for what he did to his parents. Understandable. And Locke’s dad is a total douche anyway, so I really don’t care if Sawyer ends up strangling him with a chain once again.
Miles interrupts and informs ‘Jim’ (I am sorry, but Sawyer is Sawyer-stop trying to switch it up!) that he has a date that evening with someone who works at the museum with his father. Holla! Dr. Pierre Chang/Marvin Candlewax/Dr. Wickman (again with names!) is alive and in LA and appears to have a decent relationship with Miles. Will we ever get to learn whether or not he was on the island? And what about Miles, was he ever there as well?
Again, looks like another ‘Lost’ mystery we won’t ever know.
I will admit that I started running through a list of characters in my head as to who Sawyer’s date would be. I had settled on Juliet because their meeting is inevitable at this point. However, my old man (love!) guessed it right. I do need to point out that he referred to her as: that redhead who was in Tunisia…the one who was some kind of archaeologist? Yea babe, it’s Charlotte.
So he had it right and Sawyer and Charlotte hit off then simply hit it. Again with this? I seriously need to go back and time how much of ‘Recon’ was devoted to Sawyer humping.
I have to tell you that I felt a little badly for Faraday. Yea, yea. I know he’s not around yet and, if he is alive and working in Sideways World, that crazy mama of his is likely putting the kybosh on any lady friend he may have. Still though, I miss that skinny tie.
Right before I deemed Sawyer sex too nasty for even me to watch, Charlotte uncovers a secret folder labeled ‘Sawyer’ in Sawyer’s dresser while looking for a t-shirt. Boys take notice: if you don’t want a chick rummaging through your unmentionables, then don’t give them the go-ahead to go through your drawers. We take this to mean we can look through any of your drawers, and anything that may be in those drawers. Just offering some free advice.
Naturally, Sawyer catches her, flies off the handle, and kicks her redheaded behind out of his place at 3:00 AM.
Back at the precinct, Charlie’s brother has shown up to bail him out of jail, or drop off a file hidden in a manicotti. He gets no help from Sawyer who gives him the brush off only to get into a lover’s quarrel with Miles who has discovered his man lied to him about going to Sydney. Miles quits him and Sawyer breaks a mirror. The whole thing was a little too Marky Mark in ‘Fear’ for my taste. I was waiting for Sawyer to give himself a homemade tattoo: MILES 4-EVA!
Someone please explain the relevance of the mirror. I get it, the whole mirror image thing. Jack broke the lighthouse mirror as well, so I know it’s significant. I just don’t have the effort anymore to try to figure out the deeper meaning.
Back at home and alone with his beer and frozen dinner, Sawyer watches Michael Landon bring it on a very special episode of ‘Little House on the Prairie’. He seems particularly moved when Landon lays the following line on Sara Gilbert: People aren’t really gone when they die. Whether or not it makes him thing of his parents, I don’t know. But something motivates Sawyer to go to Charlotte’s with a six-pack and a sunflower-because nothing says I love you like PBR and the cheapest flower you can buy.
She doesn’t buy it though and slams the door in his face. He leaves the flower, but takes the six-pack. Suddenly, I like the way Sawyer thinks.
In our final Sideways World scene, Sawyer goes back to his truest love of all, Miles, looking for reconciliation. He shows Miles the Sawyer folder and tells him about his past and his desire to strangle Anthony Cooper with a chain (or something else).
Before the two can kiss passionately, a car slams into them and the perp takes off on foot. How predictable was this? I mean honestly. Really. You knew it was Kate the second she flew from the car. Hair up, baggy clothes-look! It’s a 13 year old boy! No wait, it’s Kate! And naturally, Sawyer catches her and, though he’s spent the last week boning everything that moves, remembers her from his flight.
So, is he going to let her go? Or will he do his job and handcuff her? I mean to take her to jail people. You’re so smutty!
Welcome to the jungle
We take it day by day
If you want it you’re gonna bleed
But it’s the price you pay
Back on the island, Sawyer is nursing a healing Jin who I just now realized I have missed dearly. I truly cannot wait for the Jin and Sun on-island reunion. I heart them. So very, very much.
Jin seems a little miffed that Sawyer would side with UnLocke and makes him give him his word that they will not leave the island without Sun. How ironic would it be to see Jin leaving on a helicopter just as he catches a glimpse of Sun still on the island? If it ends this way I will be pissed…and I will totally remind you that I called it.
Everyone arrives at this point, the Others, UnLocke, Crazy Sayid, Kate, Claire and the Wig.
Claire and the Wig return to her camp where we are subjected to seeing crazy squirrel baby again. When asked what exactly it is in the baby bed, the Wig replies that it is all she had. She’s so wrong. She also has that Wig for crying out loud.
UnLocke gathers everyone and reveals that Smokey (i.e. himself) killed everyone that stayed behind at the temple. He seems to genuinely try to console the kids who are upset by this news. This will, no doubt, tie into the episode we are going to get about the past of the Man-In-Black (more on that later).
Kate then questions Sawyer’s allegiance to UnLocke, but he assures her that he’s with “no one.” I really wish he would get over that, ‘I’m not the leader!’ complex of his. It’s boring.
Sawyer gets ticked with UnLocke when he reveals that they will all need to wait a few days before moving on. Sawyer seems to want to leave now and waiting two more days doesn’t make him a happy camper…though at this point I would like to remind him that he’s been there for over three years, what’s a few days?
UnLocke gives Sawyer a recon mission to go to Hydra Island (you remember Sawyer, it’s where the Others put you in cages and you and Kate got it on in front of the cameras? Good times) in order to find the survivors of the Agira flight.
Sawyer obliges, makes it to the island, and heads right to the cages so he can relive his last humpfest with Kate.
While gone, Kate tries to figure out how much of the crazy Sayid has caught and is attacked by Claire. UnLocke is not pleased with this and stops the fight. Dammit. I was seriously hoping Claire or the Wig would shank Kate. Just a flesh wound was all I needed.
Sawyer easily finds the plane (it’s an AIRPLANE after all) and pile of decomposing bodies. Delicious. He also finds some chick who calls herself Zoe and attempts to con Sawyer into thinking she was on the flight.
Again with the predictability please. Obviously she is working for Widmore. We saw him arrive last week. Quickly she and her team hijack Sawyer and take him to the sub where he has high tea with Chuck Widmore. They gab about the Oscars and strike up a plan to lay a trap for UnLocke. I’m not buying it. From either of them.
At this same time UnLocke has an unnerving conversation with Kate about Claire and her crazy. I don’t remember it all, but I think it went something like this: Hey Kate, Claire’s nuts. It’s likely the Wig, but she won’t take it off. We have to get it off her so we can pass the crazy onto Sayid. Can you help? Oh, and my mom was crazy too.
Hopefully, you checked out my spoiler alert about the Man in Black’s mother (if not, click here people). We’re going to see the origins of the Wig I think. And I am so, so excited about it.
Claire and the Wig emerge and hug Kate. Claire is sobbing; UnLocke must have given her the news that the Wig is being passed onto to Sayid. Poor thing.
Sawyer returns and tells UnLocke everything about Widmore. I am unsure at this point as to whom the con is being put on. Widmore? UnLocke? The Wig? But for some reason the only story I believe from Sawyer is the one he tells Kate at the end-he’s playing both sides in order to take off in the sub when they’re both fighting one another.
Because operating a submarine with no prior knowledge as to how is easier than flying a plane that has been crash landed in the middle of an invisible island?
OK, sure.
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